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I'm no quitter, unless it comes to human relationships or math and science.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff
Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.
Dov Davidoff
Perhaps depression is a perfectly natural reaction to the human condition.
Dov Davidoff
My dad was old school Jewish. Not do your taxes Jewish - steal your car Jewish.
Dov Davidoff
Whoever said life without love isn't worth living didn't own an iPhone. These things are great.
Dov Davidoff
Just saw a t-shirt at the gym said, body by torture. That's a lot less ironic if you're a political prisoner in the Middle East.
Dov Davidoff
I'd put my faith in god, but I haven't met him, and I've been hurt before.
Dov Davidoff
Comedy is rarely funny.
Dov Davidoff
Learn to think for yourself, unless of course you can identify someone else with better judgement, and a flashlight.
Dov Davidoff
When cornered, a rattle snake can become so angry it's been known to bite itself, which is exactly how I feel in traffic and relationships.
Dov Davidoff
My bedroom is so messy, if I died of natural causes, the cops would be like no he didn't, clearly there was a struggle.
Dov Davidoff
Latin women enjoy being women more than other women.
Dov Davidoff
If you hug someone goodbye and their response is what the hell are you doing? - you may want to examine you're definition of close friend.
Dov Davidoff
Pine nuts pound for pound are more expensive than most varieties of smoked salmon. There I said it.
Dov Davidoff
Was thinking of taking a yoga class, then realized I wasn't gay. Whew. Close one.
Dov Davidoff
I've decided to retreat to the spirit world where I feel appreciated and understood.
Dov Davidoff
America has so much debt, if she were a person she'd need a co-signer to get a car loan.
Dov Davidoff
Horoscopes, like bad sitcoms, are created for people that I don't relate to.
Dov Davidoff
Is it a bad sign when someone asks you about the person your dating and a tear falls from your eye as you leap into oncoming traffic?
Dov Davidoff
Fear can be a great motivator, just not during foreplay.
Dov Davidoff
I consider myself a patriot, but not for the traditional reasons. I'm just really passionate about apple pie.
Dov Davidoff