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Anticipation almost always exceeds the reality of that which we anticipated.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff
Was thinking of taking a yoga class, then realized I wasn't gay. Whew. Close one.
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Just saw a t-shirt at the gym said, body by torture. That's a lot less ironic if you're a political prisoner in the Middle East.
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Horoscopes, like bad sitcoms, are created for people that I don't relate to.
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I consider myself a patriot, but not for the traditional reasons. I'm just really passionate about apple pie.
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Looking into blood doping. I think it will allow me to write jokes with greater intensity, and for a longer period of time.
Dov Davidoff
TV can be an acronym for television or transvestite. I prefer using it to describe the the latter. The former is strange and undignified.
Dov Davidoff
People that say I'm really sensitive rarely are.
Dov Davidoff
Every time I see someone taking care of a baby, I think why in the world would anyone willingly saddle themselves with that responsibility?
Dov Davidoff
Living one's life with unguarded vulnerability is one of the keys to happiness. It's also one of the keys to getting mugged.
Dov Davidoff
Lack of sleep is only bad if you have to drive, or think, or talk, or move.
Dov Davidoff
Domestic violence isn't funny, especially if you live together.
Dov Davidoff
It's difficult to feel silly and depressed at the same time, but I manage.
Dov Davidoff
If I ever move in with a woman, she'll have to be really comfortable with unhappiness.
Dov Davidoff
I wish that every other guy were gay. Think about the leverage that would create in your relationship.
Dov Davidoff
Is it a bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend makes you say things like, Satan is a myth... I guess.
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The rift between culture and pop-culture has never been greater.
Dov Davidoff
Upside of being an attractive woman if you're remotely intelligent, people will treat you like you're brilliant. Downside: same thing.
Dov Davidoff
I'd put my faith in god, but I haven't met him, and I've been hurt before.
Dov Davidoff
The more I get to know people, the less I know about people.
Dov Davidoff
Pine nuts pound for pound are more expensive than most varieties of smoked salmon. There I said it.
Dov Davidoff