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Anticipation almost always exceeds the reality of that which we anticipated.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff
Being homeless is awful, but if you've ever tried to wrestle a duvet cover back onto a comforter you realise it's not without it's benefits.
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I would imagine that not having any potential could be less difficult than not fulfilling it.
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I spend so much time alone that whenever I see my shadow I feel crowded.
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Being proud of your nationality is like congratulating yourself for inheriting money.
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Is it a bad sign when someone asks you about the person your dating and a tear falls from your eye as you leap into oncoming traffic?
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Living by the beach means feeling guilty about never going to the beach.
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Few things interest me more than the things people don't say.
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It's difficult to feel silly and depressed at the same time, but I manage.
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I would imagine that most of the people who consider themselves successful aren't, at least in the ways that really matter-myself included.
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Women want a man who is sensitive, but god forbid you can't get it up after being frightened by a small woodland animal.
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My dad was old school Jewish. Not do your taxes Jewish - steal your car Jewish.
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Health food would seem healthier if the people that sold it looked less unhealthy.
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Life is fragile, unless your in the NFL in which case you'll need to wear padding.
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Comedy is rarely funny.
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Many television weather-women were one abusive parent away from prostitution.
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When I was a kid I remember thinking, if I had a girl, I would treat her really well. Little did I know, they don't always like that.
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Writing good jokes requires effort. Think I'll just start dressing funnier.
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Horoscopes, like bad sitcoms, are created for people that I don't relate to.
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Gay men greet each other just like straight guys do... If one of the straight guys saved the other one's life.
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You think you have anger issues? I just yelled at a sandwich. Not kidding.
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