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Horoscopes, like bad sitcoms, are created for people that I don't relate to.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff

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Please use anger for something positive like hurting people that deserve it or writing jokes.
Dov Davidoff
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Is it a bad sign when someone asks you about the person your dating and a tear falls from your eye as you leap into oncoming traffic?
Dov Davidoff
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You can't fool the American people - politician trying to fool the American people.
Dov Davidoff
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We should create a holiday that celebrates money for what it is, essentially worthless paper, upon which we agree to pretend it has value.
Dov Davidoff
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The human spirit is indomitable, unless your talking specifically about the people I know.
Dov Davidoff
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If you hug someone goodbye and their response is what the hell are you doing? - you may want to examine you're definition of close friend.
Dov Davidoff
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Skin heads are doing an awful job of promoting racism. You guys need to loosen up, and for god's sake would it kill you to smile.
Dov Davidoff
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A picture is worth a thousand words, but conversations with them generally end in dissapointment.
Dov Davidoff
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I spend so much time alone that whenever I see my shadow I feel crowded.
Dov Davidoff
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When rappers call each other son it leads me to believe they don't take fatherhood very seriously.
Dov Davidoff
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Animals look at people the way people look at people that might mug them.
Dov Davidoff
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Perhaps depression is a perfectly natural reaction to the human condition.
Dov Davidoff
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Many television weather-women were one abusive parent away from prostitution.
Dov Davidoff
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White people set goals, rappers 'chase paper', and the Chinese are too busy doing both to talk about either one.
Dov Davidoff
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MTV has turned more young women into whores than poverty.
Dov Davidoff
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Living one's life with unguarded vulnerability is one of the keys to happiness. It's also one of the keys to getting mugged.
Dov Davidoff
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I wish that every other guy were gay. Think about the leverage that would create in your relationship.
Dov Davidoff
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Just saw a woman with a t-shirt that said southern and sassy, it's all good. Well madame, I beg to differ, it is in fact, not 'all good'.
Dov Davidoff
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Someday I'd like to be a father, not of a human child, but something more reasonable.
Dov Davidoff
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Cheerleaders are simultaneously everything that is right and wrong with the world.
Dov Davidoff