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Being proud of your nationality is like congratulating yourself for inheriting money.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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Just saw a woman with a t-shirt that said southern and sassy, it's all good. Well madame, I beg to differ, it is in fact, not 'all good'.
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Brain damage and stupidity are very different things, but can have similar effects on the wearer.
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Everybody's angry with me because, apparently, I outed my cousin during an argument over a turkey leg. My cousin goes, 'You had the last leg.' I was like, 'You're gay.
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America has so much debt, if she were a person she'd need a co-signer to get a car loan.
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Flying first class means sitting next to a better class of person I don't want to talk to.
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If I ever move in with a woman, she'll have to be really comfortable with unhappiness.
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Age is just a number, unless of course your trying to have a conversation with them.
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People would be so much more interesting if they'd behave like who they are, and not like what they think others expect them to be.
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Latin women enjoy being women more than other women.
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I consider myself a patriot, but not for the traditional reasons. I'm just really passionate about apple pie.
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If you're an adult and still think material wealth leads to happiness, might I suggest not being a moron.
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Please reduce the expectation in your tone when asking me how my day is going.
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Cities with a black middle class provide the narrow minded an opportunity to realize that cultural differences are largely economic.
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If only you understood the way I felt... it wouldn't help much because I don't really like you as a person.
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Writing good jokes requires effort. Think I'll just start dressing funnier.
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Do you love me for me?... I don't even love me for me.
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Is it a bad sign when someone asks you about the person your dating and a tear falls from your eye as you leap into oncoming traffic?
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Fear can be a great motivator, just not during foreplay.
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