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I'm passionate about gay rights, but I think we need admit that there are some gay wrongs as well.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
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Women want a man who is sensitive, but god forbid you can't get it up after being frightened by a small woodland animal.
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I wish I could be attracted to unattractive women. They're just more interesting.
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If only you understood the way I felt... it wouldn't help much because I don't really like you as a person.
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Please reduce the expectation in your tone when asking me how my day is going.
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Can you spare some change? is never a good pick up line.
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We're in this together usually means I'm here for you, unless it requires me getting into my car anywhere near rush hour.
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A picture is worth a thousand words, but conversations with them generally end in dissapointment.
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Facebook is great for getting upset about things people say even though you haven't seen them in 12 years.
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TV can be an acronym for television or transvestite. I prefer using it to describe the the latter. The former is strange and undignified.
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Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.
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Suicide is a terrible idea, but if you're going to end it, do so at a Pinkberry near you.
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Cheerleaders are simultaneously everything that is right and wrong with the world.
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I consider myself a patriot, but not for the traditional reasons. I'm just really passionate about apple pie.
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Comedy is rarely funny.
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Few things are as uniquely painful as bad comedy, and the realization that the human mind is a house of mirrors with no entrance and no exit.
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When rappers call each other son it leads me to believe they don't take fatherhood very seriously.
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Only bugs can truly appreciate the beauty of flowers.
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Thinking about the fathomless cruelty with which man has treated his fellow man, but also ice cream.
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Gay men greet each other just like straight guys do... If one of the straight guys saved the other one's life.
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Nike store won't accept my Starbucks card as payment. Come on guys, just do it.
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