Quote

The quality of a restaurant's food is inversely proportioned to the amount of fun its staff seems to be having.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
Food
Quality
Proportioned
Seems
Inversely
Restaurant
Staff
Restaurants
Amount
Fun

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Heard someone say children are god's gift to the world. What world are you referring to? And what's your definition of gift?
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If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.
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People that say I'm really sensitive rarely are.
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If you're an adult and still think material wealth leads to happiness, might I suggest not being a moron.
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The good things in life are free, except for health care, and electricity.
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Everybody's angry with me because, apparently, I outed my cousin during an argument over a turkey leg. My cousin goes, 'You had the last leg.' I was like, 'You're gay.
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Living by the beach means feeling guilty about never going to the beach.
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Do you love me for me?... I don't even love me for me.
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Every time I see someone taking care of a baby, I think why in the world would anyone willingly saddle themselves with that responsibility?
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Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.
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You think you have anger issues? I just yelled at a sandwich. Not kidding.
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Skin heads are doing an awful job of promoting racism. You guys need to loosen up, and for god's sake would it kill you to smile.
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The more I get to know people, the less I know about people.
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Just saw a t-shirt at the gym said, body by torture. That's a lot less ironic if you're a political prisoner in the Middle East.
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Do you ever have one of those weeks where you know nothings gonna go right?
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Being homeless is awful, but if you've ever tried to wrestle a duvet cover back onto a comforter you realise it's not without it's benefits.
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MTV has turned more young women into whores than poverty.
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Please use anger for something positive like hurting people that deserve it or writing jokes.
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Violence is never the answer, unless you don't feel like talking.
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I spend so much time alone that whenever I see my shadow I feel crowded.
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