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I spend so much time alone that whenever I see my shadow I feel crowded.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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Crowded
Whenever
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Alone
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Nike store won't accept my Starbucks card as payment. Come on guys, just do it.
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Suicide is like the ejector button in the cockpit of an F-15. If life goes into a permanent tail spin, it's nice to know the option is there.
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People who say life is precious don't spend much time on line at the airport.
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Health food would seem healthier if the people that sold it looked less unhealthy.
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The color red is associated with romance and blood, but not at the same time.
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We're in this together usually means I'm here for you, unless it requires me getting into my car anywhere near rush hour.
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Writing good jokes requires effort. Think I'll just start dressing funnier.
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Canadians are like Americans, just less racist, violent, and ignorant.
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The rift between culture and pop-culture has never been greater.
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Please use anger for something positive like hurting people that deserve it or writing jokes.
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Learn to think for yourself, unless of course you can identify someone else with better judgement, and a flashlight.
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I'm neither professional fighter nor physicist, therefore on some level I will always consider myself a failure.
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Is it a bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend makes you say things like, Satan is a myth... I guess.
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Lack of sleep is only bad if you have to drive, or think, or talk, or move.
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Only bugs can truly appreciate the beauty of flowers.
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Gotta get rid of these free radicals, but first I need to figure out what they are.
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America is a hot chick with a bad personality. Take her seriously and you'll end up hating yourself.
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Bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend sends you reeling in a search for new adjectives to describe stupidity and thoughtlessness?
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Laughing at ones own attempt at humor while saying things just come to me should be punishable by death.
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