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Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
Polygraph
Couple
Happy
Give
Giving
Every
Time

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Living by the beach means feeling guilty about never going to the beach.
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When rappers call each other son it leads me to believe they don't take fatherhood very seriously.
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It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.
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If I ever move in with a woman, she'll have to be really comfortable with unhappiness.
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Women want a man who is sensitive, but god forbid you can't get it up after being frightened by a small woodland animal.
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Animals look at people the way people look at people that might mug them.
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Skin heads are doing an awful job of promoting racism. You guys need to loosen up, and for god's sake would it kill you to smile.
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When I was a kid I remember thinking, if I had a girl, I would treat her really well. Little did I know, they don't always like that.
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Do you love me for me?... I don't even love me for me.
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Age is just a number, unless of course your trying to have a conversation with them.
Dov Davidoff
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Hard to explain to a guard dog that you need it to protect you from yourself.
Dov Davidoff
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I like shitty strip clubs. They look like what they are. I know what to expect. Unlike Congress, at least we know everybody is for sale.
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Upside of being an attractive woman if you're remotely intelligent, people will treat you like you're brilliant. Downside: same thing.
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You can't fool the American people - politician trying to fool the American people.
Dov Davidoff
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People that say I'm really sensitive rarely are.
Dov Davidoff
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A picture is worth a thousand words, but conversations with them generally end in dissapointment.
Dov Davidoff
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Being anti-social can also mean that you're aware of how annoying it is to be social.
Dov Davidoff
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Is it a bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend makes you say things like, Satan is a myth... I guess.
Dov Davidoff
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You can't assume the best about people. If I get a girl home and she takes her pants off, and it looks like she's got herpes, I can't afford to assume she got stung by a pack of bees.
Dov Davidoff
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The human spirit is indomitable, unless your talking specifically about the people I know.
Dov Davidoff