Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.
Dov Davidoff
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Dov Davidoff
Time
Polygraph
Couple
Happy
Give
Giving
Every
More quotes by Dov Davidoff
Few things interest me more than the things people don't say.
Dov Davidoff
Latin women enjoy being women more than other women.
Dov Davidoff
The downside of aging is a slower metabolism and achy joints.The upside is a knowledge of self that prevents one from behaving like a baboon.
Dov Davidoff
America is a hot chick with a bad personality. Take her seriously and you'll end up hating yourself.
Dov Davidoff
False humility is thinly veiled ego disguised as self confidence.
Dov Davidoff
Being homeless is awful, but if you've ever tried to wrestle a duvet cover back onto a comforter you realise it's not without it's benefits.
Dov Davidoff
Maybe necrophiliacs are just people that want to have sex without a lot of talking.
Dov Davidoff
Suicide is a terrible idea, but if you're going to end it, do so at a Pinkberry near you.
Dov Davidoff
You know you've lived in LA to long when what you fear most about prison is a lack of organic produce.
Dov Davidoff
Everybody's angry with me because, apparently, I outed my cousin during an argument over a turkey leg. My cousin goes, 'You had the last leg.' I was like, 'You're gay.
Dov Davidoff
Gotta get rid of these free radicals, but first I need to figure out what they are.
Dov Davidoff
A picture is worth a thousand words, but conversations with them generally end in dissapointment.
Dov Davidoff
The Nazis were well dressed. Today's racists are a rag-tag bunch with no sense of style or panache.
Dov Davidoff
Anticipation almost always exceeds the reality of that which we anticipated.
Dov Davidoff
Facebook is great for getting upset about things people say even though you haven't seen them in 12 years.
Dov Davidoff
My job as a comedian is to heighten awareness about locally grown produce, fight factory farming, and promote euthanasia, but in a funny way.
Dov Davidoff
People would be so much more interesting if they'd behave like who they are, and not like what they think others expect them to be.
Dov Davidoff
Fear can be a great motivator, just not during foreplay.
Dov Davidoff
I've decided to retreat to the spirit world where I feel appreciated and understood.
Dov Davidoff
When cornered, a rattle snake can become so angry it's been known to bite itself, which is exactly how I feel in traffic and relationships.
Dov Davidoff