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Maybe necrophiliacs are just people that want to have sex without a lot of talking.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff
Life is fragile, unless your in the NFL in which case you'll need to wear padding.
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If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.
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The Nazis were well dressed. Today's racists are a rag-tag bunch with no sense of style or panache.
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Facebook is great for getting upset about things people say even though you haven't seen them in 12 years.
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It's a shame that physical beauty often has such a negative effect on its occupant.
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Flying first class means sitting next to a better class of person I don't want to talk to.
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Anyone who says I would never hit a woman hasn't met my x girlfriend.
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If only St. Valentine was around to see his memory celebrated through the mindless marketing of whipping cream and lingerie.
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When cornered, a rattle snake can become so angry it's been known to bite itself, which is exactly how I feel in traffic and relationships.
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I spend so much time alone that whenever I see my shadow I feel crowded.
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You know you've lived in LA to long when what you fear most about prison is a lack of organic produce.
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When rappers call each other son it leads me to believe they don't take fatherhood very seriously.
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Please reduce the expectation in your tone when asking me how my day is going.
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Living by the beach means feeling guilty about never going to the beach.
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Big black guys fear air travel almost as much as old white women fear big black guys.
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A picture is worth a thousand words, but conversations with them generally end in dissapointment.
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Writing good jokes requires effort. Think I'll just start dressing funnier.
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Lack of sleep is only bad if you have to drive, or think, or talk, or move.
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Living one's life with unguarded vulnerability is one of the keys to happiness. It's also one of the keys to getting mugged.
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I wish I could be attracted to unattractive women. They're just more interesting.
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