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Maybe necrophiliacs are just people that want to have sex without a lot of talking.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
Sex
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff
I've decided to become gay, not in a sexual way, but I am going to start picking up around the house.
Dov Davidoff
Few things are as uniquely painful as bad comedy, and the realization that the human mind is a house of mirrors with no entrance and no exit.
Dov Davidoff
I wonder if anybody ever decided to commit suicide, then thought but first I'm going to stop by that taco place I like so much.
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A lot of people in a LA need to take a break from taking a break.
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All politicians promise that which they cannot deliver. I just wish they did so less gleefully.
Dov Davidoff
Women want a man who is sensitive, but god forbid you can't get it up after being frightened by a small woodland animal.
Dov Davidoff
Life is fragile, unless your in the NFL in which case you'll need to wear padding.
Dov Davidoff
The downside of aging is a slower metabolism and achy joints.The upside is a knowledge of self that prevents one from behaving like a baboon.
Dov Davidoff
If you love sleep, you'll really enjoy death.
Dov Davidoff
Looking into blood doping. I think it will allow me to write jokes with greater intensity, and for a longer period of time.
Dov Davidoff
I've decided to retreat to the spirit world where I feel appreciated and understood.
Dov Davidoff
Heard someone say children are god's gift to the world. What world are you referring to? And what's your definition of gift?
Dov Davidoff
Sleep is over rated, then again so is being awake.
Dov Davidoff
I wish that every other guy were gay. Think about the leverage that would create in your relationship.
Dov Davidoff
I like shitty strip clubs. They look like what they are. I know what to expect. Unlike Congress, at least we know everybody is for sale.
Dov Davidoff
Comedy is rarely funny.
Dov Davidoff
Anyone who says I would never hit a woman hasn't met my x girlfriend.
Dov Davidoff
Skin heads are doing an awful job of promoting racism. You guys need to loosen up, and for god's sake would it kill you to smile.
Dov Davidoff
Is there anything more attractive than a woman in high heels and low self esteem?
Dov Davidoff
Statistically speaking, when a woman says I'm not going to have sex with you, she'll often have sex with you.
Dov Davidoff