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Maybe necrophiliacs are just people that want to have sex without a lot of talking.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
Sex
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Talking
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff
You can't fool the American people - politician trying to fool the American people.
Dov Davidoff
America has so much debt, if she were a person she'd need a co-signer to get a car loan.
Dov Davidoff
Thinking about the fathomless cruelty with which man has treated his fellow man, but also ice cream.
Dov Davidoff
Animals look at people the way people look at people that might mug them.
Dov Davidoff
I think you have a lot to offer... not necessarily as a person, but as an organ donor.
Dov Davidoff
Can you spare some change? is never a good pick up line.
Dov Davidoff
Flying first class means sitting next to a better class of person I don't want to talk to.
Dov Davidoff
Just saw a t-shirt at the gym said, body by torture. That's a lot less ironic if you're a political prisoner in the Middle East.
Dov Davidoff
America is a hot chick with a bad personality. Take her seriously and you'll end up hating yourself.
Dov Davidoff
Suicide is a terrible idea, but if you're going to end it, do so at a Pinkberry near you.
Dov Davidoff
Looking into blood doping. I think it will allow me to write jokes with greater intensity, and for a longer period of time.
Dov Davidoff
I would imagine that not having any potential could be less difficult than not fulfilling it.
Dov Davidoff
Nike store won't accept my Starbucks card as payment. Come on guys, just do it.
Dov Davidoff
I'm no quitter, unless it comes to human relationships or math and science.
Dov Davidoff
Being homeless is awful, but if you've ever tried to wrestle a duvet cover back onto a comforter you realise it's not without it's benefits.
Dov Davidoff
Living by the beach means feeling guilty about never going to the beach.
Dov Davidoff
Guys don't use the word pretty enough. Like, hey Mike, did you get that shirt at the game? Looks really pretty on you.
Dov Davidoff
It's a shame that physical beauty often has such a negative effect on its occupant.
Dov Davidoff
All politicians promise that which they cannot deliver. I just wish they did so less gleefully.
Dov Davidoff
Most public bathrooms now have automatic toilet sensors. People can't even be trusted to flush.
Dov Davidoff