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My bedroom is so messy, if I died of natural causes, the cops would be like no he didn't, clearly there was a struggle.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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Do you love me for me?... I don't even love me for me.
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Is it a bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend makes you say things like, Satan is a myth... I guess.
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Do you ever have one of those weeks where you know nothings gonna go right?
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If you hug someone goodbye and their response is what the hell are you doing? - you may want to examine you're definition of close friend.
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When maintaining a relationship means diminishing your self, it's time to walk.
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If I ever move in with a woman, she'll have to be really comfortable with unhappiness.
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Mirrors at the gym only serve to remind me that I'm less of a man than I'd like to be.
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What is sex addiction? I asked a doctor and the guys goes, Sex addiction... People will end up doing something they don't want to do just for sex. Isn't that called a first date, man? If sex was the result of something I wanted to do, there'd be condoms all over my PlayStation.
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I don't know if it's the economy, but finding work as a spiritual guru is really hard. Maybe I should grow my hair out.
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No one understands the way I feel about things I don't understand.
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Comedy is rarely funny.
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I've never understood why anybody makes a big deal about mansions. It's just a house with more rooms. You still have to face yourself.
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