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Fake titties are inversely proportioned to their owners level of self esteem. This being said, part of me loves them.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
Part
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Esteem
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Titties

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Flying first class means sitting next to a better class of person I don't want to talk to.
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Suicide is a terrible idea, but if you're going to end it, do so at a Pinkberry near you.
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When rappers call each other son it leads me to believe they don't take fatherhood very seriously.
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Thinking about the fathomless cruelty with which man has treated his fellow man, but also ice cream.
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The color red is associated with romance and blood, but not at the same time.
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Few things are as uniquely painful as bad comedy, and the realization that the human mind is a house of mirrors with no entrance and no exit.
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The downside of aging is a slower metabolism and achy joints.The upside is a knowledge of self that prevents one from behaving like a baboon.
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TV can be an acronym for television or transvestite. I prefer using it to describe the the latter. The former is strange and undignified.
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Age is just a number, unless of course your trying to have a conversation with them.
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Learn to think for yourself, unless of course you can identify someone else with better judgement, and a flashlight.
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My bedroom is so messy, if I died of natural causes, the cops would be like no he didn't, clearly there was a struggle.
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Gotta get rid of these free radicals, but first I need to figure out what they are.
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Maybe necrophiliacs are just people that want to have sex without a lot of talking.
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I would imagine that most of the people who consider themselves successful aren't, at least in the ways that really matter-myself included.
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When I was a kid I remember thinking, if I had a girl, I would treat her really well. Little did I know, they don't always like that.
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Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.
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I find anger so comforting. It's like a blanket made of unresolved issues, but it's a blanket none the less.
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Big black guys fear air travel almost as much as old white women fear big black guys.
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Heard someone say children are god's gift to the world. What world are you referring to? And what's your definition of gift?
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