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Fake titties are inversely proportioned to their owners level of self esteem. This being said, part of me loves them.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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People who say life is precious don't spend much time on line at the airport.
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The Nazis were well dressed. Today's racists are a rag-tag bunch with no sense of style or panache.
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Every time I see someone taking care of a baby, I think why in the world would anyone willingly saddle themselves with that responsibility?
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Big black guys fear air travel almost as much as old white women fear big black guys.
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Was thinking of taking a yoga class, then realized I wasn't gay. Whew. Close one.
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You can't assume the best about people. If I get a girl home and she takes her pants off, and it looks like she's got herpes, I can't afford to assume she got stung by a pack of bees.
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Cheerleaders are simultaneously everything that is right and wrong with the world.
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I find anger so comforting. It's like a blanket made of unresolved issues, but it's a blanket none the less.
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When cornered, a rattle snake can become so angry it's been known to bite itself, which is exactly how I feel in traffic and relationships.
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I would imagine that not having any potential could be less difficult than not fulfilling it.
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Few things interest me more than the things people don't say.
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If only you understood the way I felt... it wouldn't help much because I don't really like you as a person.
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The Statue of Liberty really is profound, I just wish she'd lighten up a bit.
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People would be so much more interesting if they'd behave like who they are, and not like what they think others expect them to be.
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America is a hot chick with a bad personality. Take her seriously and you'll end up hating yourself.
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Gay men greet each other just like straight guys do... If one of the straight guys saved the other one's life.
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People increase their use of the term 'sir' when their angry. Little do they know, it only causes me to feel more like I'm wearing a top hat.
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White people set goals, rappers 'chase paper', and the Chinese are too busy doing both to talk about either one.
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Next time I spank a girl during sex, I'll say, this is going to hurt me more than it will you.
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Why hasn't anyone opened a night club named 'No Drugs Allowed, Wink, Wink'?
Dov Davidoff