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Laughing at ones own attempt at humor while saying things just come to me should be punishable by death.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
Death
Come
Things
Punishable
Attempt
Laughing
Ones
Humor
Saying

More quotes by Dov Davidoff

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Guys don't use the word pretty enough. Like, hey Mike, did you get that shirt at the game? Looks really pretty on you.
Dov Davidoff
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I've never understood why anybody makes a big deal about mansions. It's just a house with more rooms. You still have to face yourself.
Dov Davidoff
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Upside of being an attractive woman if you're remotely intelligent, people will treat you like you're brilliant. Downside: same thing.
Dov Davidoff
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Next time I spank a girl during sex, I'll say, this is going to hurt me more than it will you.
Dov Davidoff
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I would imagine that not having any potential could be less difficult than not fulfilling it.
Dov Davidoff
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Being homeless is awful, but if you've ever tried to wrestle a duvet cover back onto a comforter you realise it's not without it's benefits.
Dov Davidoff
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Is it a bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend makes you say things like, Satan is a myth... I guess.
Dov Davidoff
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Please reduce the expectation in your tone when asking me how my day is going.
Dov Davidoff
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If only St. Valentine was around to see his memory celebrated through the mindless marketing of whipping cream and lingerie.
Dov Davidoff
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I think you have a lot to offer... not necessarily as a person, but as an organ donor.
Dov Davidoff
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It's a shame that physical beauty often has such a negative effect on its occupant.
Dov Davidoff
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Sleep is over rated, then again so is being awake.
Dov Davidoff
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Writing good jokes requires effort. Think I'll just start dressing funnier.
Dov Davidoff
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I wonder if anybody ever decided to commit suicide, then thought but first I'm going to stop by that taco place I like so much.
Dov Davidoff
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Do you ever have one of those weeks where you know nothings gonna go right?
Dov Davidoff
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Animals look at people the way people look at people that might mug them.
Dov Davidoff
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Skin heads are doing an awful job of promoting racism. You guys need to loosen up, and for god's sake would it kill you to smile.
Dov Davidoff
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I like shitty strip clubs. They look like what they are. I know what to expect. Unlike Congress, at least we know everybody is for sale.
Dov Davidoff
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When cornered, a rattle snake can become so angry it's been known to bite itself, which is exactly how I feel in traffic and relationships.
Dov Davidoff
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I wish that every other guy were gay. Think about the leverage that would create in your relationship.
Dov Davidoff