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Money can't buy happiness, unless you're favorite hooker's name is 'Happiness'.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
Favorite
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Happiness
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Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.
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Laughing at ones own attempt at humor while saying things just come to me should be punishable by death.
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I wonder if anybody ever decided to commit suicide, then thought but first I'm going to stop by that taco place I like so much.
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It's difficult to feel silly and depressed at the same time, but I manage.
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People shouldn't take my lack of interest in what they're saying personally. I don't really care about what I'm saying most of the time.
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I've decided to become gay, not in a sexual way, but I am going to start picking up around the house.
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Just saw a t-shirt at the gym said, body by torture. That's a lot less ironic if you're a political prisoner in the Middle East.
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Cities with a black middle class provide the narrow minded an opportunity to realize that cultural differences are largely economic.
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White people set goals, rappers 'chase paper', and the Chinese are too busy doing both to talk about either one.
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If you got it, flaunt it may be decent advice for prostitutes, but no one else.
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Heard someone say children are god's gift to the world. What world are you referring to? And what's your definition of gift?
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The human spirit is indomitable, unless your talking specifically about the people I know.
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Domestic violence isn't funny, especially if you live together.
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Animals look at people the way people look at people that might mug them.
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You can't fool the American people - politician trying to fool the American people.
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It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.
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The Statue of Liberty really is profound, I just wish she'd lighten up a bit.
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If only you understood the way I felt... it wouldn't help much because I don't really like you as a person.
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Is it a bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend makes you say things like, Satan is a myth... I guess.
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Comedy is rarely funny.
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