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Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
Lines
Waiting
Freedom
Water
Crocodile
Love
Crocodiles
Attack
Innocent
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff

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If only St. Valentine was around to see his memory celebrated through the mindless marketing of whipping cream and lingerie.
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I don't know if it's the economy, but finding work as a spiritual guru is really hard. Maybe I should grow my hair out.
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I think you have a lot to offer... not necessarily as a person, but as an organ donor.
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Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.
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Suicide is like the ejector button in the cockpit of an F-15. If life goes into a permanent tail spin, it's nice to know the option is there.
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Hard to explain to a guard dog that you need it to protect you from yourself.
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I wonder if anybody ever decided to commit suicide, then thought but first I'm going to stop by that taco place I like so much.
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Few things interest me more than the things people don't say.
Dov Davidoff
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Everybody's angry with me because, apparently, I outed my cousin during an argument over a turkey leg. My cousin goes, 'You had the last leg.' I was like, 'You're gay.
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Most public bathrooms now have automatic toilet sensors. People can't even be trusted to flush.
Dov Davidoff
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Being homeless is awful, but if you've ever tried to wrestle a duvet cover back onto a comforter you realise it's not without it's benefits.
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The color red is associated with romance and blood, but not at the same time.
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Animals look at people the way people look at people that might mug them.
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I like shitty strip clubs. They look like what they are. I know what to expect. Unlike Congress, at least we know everybody is for sale.
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Writing good jokes requires effort. Think I'll just start dressing funnier.
Dov Davidoff
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Stop thanking god for your parking spot. He had nothing to do with it, and if he did, I want nothing to do with him.
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MTV has turned more young women into whores than poverty.
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A picture is worth a thousand words, but conversations with them generally end in dissapointment.
Dov Davidoff
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People that say I'm really sensitive rarely are.
Dov Davidoff
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Money can't buy happiness, unless you're favorite hooker's name is 'Happiness'.
Dov Davidoff