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Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
Waiting
Freedom
Water
Crocodile
Love
Crocodiles
Attack
Innocent
Line
Lines

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If you hug someone goodbye and their response is what the hell are you doing? - you may want to examine you're definition of close friend.
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Everybody's angry with me because, apparently, I outed my cousin during an argument over a turkey leg. My cousin goes, 'You had the last leg.' I was like, 'You're gay.
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Comedy is rarely funny.
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When being interviewed by a woman for a job, never begin with listen up doll face.
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I wish that every other guy were gay. Think about the leverage that would create in your relationship.
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Hanging out with women on a platonic level is like spending time with someone from Europe. It's not better or worse, but it is different.
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Few things interest me more than the things people don't say.
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Canadians are like Americans, just less racist, violent, and ignorant.
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Facebook is great for getting upset about things people say even though you haven't seen them in 12 years.
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If you got it, flaunt it may be decent advice for prostitutes, but no one else.
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Fear can be a great motivator, just not during foreplay.
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I think you have a lot to offer... not necessarily as a person, but as an organ donor.
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Sleep is over rated, then again so is being awake.
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The color red is associated with romance and blood, but not at the same time.
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I would imagine that most of the people who consider themselves successful aren't, at least in the ways that really matter-myself included.
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Few things are as uniquely painful as bad comedy, and the realization that the human mind is a house of mirrors with no entrance and no exit.
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I like shitty strip clubs. They look like what they are. I know what to expect. Unlike Congress, at least we know everybody is for sale.
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Living by the beach means feeling guilty about never going to the beach.
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Do you ever have one of those weeks where you know nothings gonna go right?
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Drugs in a disco are great for white people because it allows them to feel more Puerto Rican while dancing.
Dov Davidoff