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Many television weather-women were one abusive parent away from prostitution.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff
What is sex addiction? I asked a doctor and the guys goes, Sex addiction... People will end up doing something they don't want to do just for sex. Isn't that called a first date, man? If sex was the result of something I wanted to do, there'd be condoms all over my PlayStation.
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Few things interest me more than the things people don't say.
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Statistically speaking, when a woman says I'm not going to have sex with you, she'll often have sex with you.
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Sleep is over rated, then again so is being awake.
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When maintaining a relationship means diminishing your self, it's time to walk.
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I wish that every other guy were gay. Think about the leverage that would create in your relationship.
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The downside of aging is a slower metabolism and achy joints.The upside is a knowledge of self that prevents one from behaving like a baboon.
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Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.
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Gay men greet each other just like straight guys do... If one of the straight guys saved the other one's life.
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Looking into blood doping. I think it will allow me to write jokes with greater intensity, and for a longer period of time.
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If you're an adult and still think material wealth leads to happiness, might I suggest not being a moron.
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It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.
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Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.
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If you love sleep, you'll really enjoy death.
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Horoscopes, like bad sitcoms, are created for people that I don't relate to.
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I would imagine that most of the people who consider themselves successful aren't, at least in the ways that really matter-myself included.
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Women want a man who is sensitive, but god forbid you can't get it up after being frightened by a small woodland animal.
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Please use anger for something positive like hurting people that deserve it or writing jokes.
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Only bugs can truly appreciate the beauty of flowers.
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Comedy is rarely funny.
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