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Love is nature's LSD. You're going to see things that aren't really there.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff
Life is fragile, unless your in the NFL in which case you'll need to wear padding.
Dov Davidoff
When I was a kid I remember thinking, if I had a girl, I would treat her really well. Little did I know, they don't always like that.
Dov Davidoff
Do you love me for me?... I don't even love me for me.
Dov Davidoff
Is it a bad sign when you see the person you're dating and get the same feeling as if you just saw police lights in you're rear view mirror?
Dov Davidoff
Cities with a black middle class provide the narrow minded an opportunity to realize that cultural differences are largely economic.
Dov Davidoff
Upside of being an attractive woman if you're remotely intelligent, people will treat you like you're brilliant. Downside: same thing.
Dov Davidoff
Big black guys fear air travel almost as much as old white women fear big black guys.
Dov Davidoff
If you love sleep, you'll really enjoy death.
Dov Davidoff
When rappers call each other son it leads me to believe they don't take fatherhood very seriously.
Dov Davidoff
Women want a man who is sensitive, but god forbid you can't get it up after being frightened by a small woodland animal.
Dov Davidoff
Writing good jokes requires effort. Think I'll just start dressing funnier.
Dov Davidoff
I wish that every other guy were gay. Think about the leverage that would create in your relationship.
Dov Davidoff
Latin women enjoy being women more than other women.
Dov Davidoff
Few things are as uniquely painful as bad comedy, and the realization that the human mind is a house of mirrors with no entrance and no exit.
Dov Davidoff
Next time I spank a girl during sex, I'll say, this is going to hurt me more than it will you.
Dov Davidoff
America has so much debt, if she were a person she'd need a co-signer to get a car loan.
Dov Davidoff
Living by the beach means feeling guilty about never going to the beach.
Dov Davidoff
Animals look at people the way people look at people that might mug them.
Dov Davidoff
Few things interest me more than the things people don't say.
Dov Davidoff
Drugs in a disco are great for white people because it allows them to feel more Puerto Rican while dancing.
Dov Davidoff