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Few things are more annoying than too many of any one ethnicity in the same room.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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Everybody wants to be more wanted, until they are.
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If only you understood the way I felt... it wouldn't help much because I don't really like you as a person.
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Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.
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All politicians promise that which they cannot deliver. I just wish they did so less gleefully.
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TV can be an acronym for television or transvestite. I prefer using it to describe the the latter. The former is strange and undignified.
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Living by the beach means feeling guilty about never going to the beach.
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Being anti-social can also mean that you're aware of how annoying it is to be social.
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Many television weather-women were one abusive parent away from prostitution.
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Please use anger for something positive like hurting people that deserve it or writing jokes.
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Horoscopes, like bad sitcoms, are created for people that I don't relate to.
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Violence is never the answer, unless you don't feel like talking.
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Looking into blood doping. I think it will allow me to write jokes with greater intensity, and for a longer period of time.
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The downside of aging is a slower metabolism and achy joints.The upside is a knowledge of self that prevents one from behaving like a baboon.
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Stop thanking god for your parking spot. He had nothing to do with it, and if he did, I want nothing to do with him.
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Everybody's angry with me because, apparently, I outed my cousin during an argument over a turkey leg. My cousin goes, 'You had the last leg.' I was like, 'You're gay.
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If you got it, flaunt it may be decent advice for prostitutes, but no one else.
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Is there anything more attractive than a woman in high heels and low self esteem?
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Maybe necrophiliacs are just people that want to have sex without a lot of talking.
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If only St. Valentine was around to see his memory celebrated through the mindless marketing of whipping cream and lingerie.
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People shouldn't take my lack of interest in what they're saying personally. I don't really care about what I'm saying most of the time.
Dov Davidoff