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Big black guys fear air travel almost as much as old white women fear big black guys.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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Skin heads are doing an awful job of promoting racism. You guys need to loosen up, and for god's sake would it kill you to smile.
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Not sure how I feel about reality. I'm going to begin purchasing stuffed animals and endowing them with the qualities people in my life lack.
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Everybody wants to be more wanted, until they are.
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People would be so much more interesting if they'd behave like who they are, and not like what they think others expect them to be.
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Comedy is rarely funny.
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People who say life is precious don't spend much time on line at the airport.
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Lack of sleep is only bad if you have to drive, or think, or talk, or move.
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I find anger so comforting. It's like a blanket made of unresolved issues, but it's a blanket none the less.
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People shouldn't take my lack of interest in what they're saying personally. I don't really care about what I'm saying most of the time.
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Fear can be a great motivator, just not during foreplay.
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I think you have a lot to offer... not necessarily as a person, but as an organ donor.
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I like Irish pubs, except for all the loud music and drinking, and people acting like idiots.
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When I was a kid I remember thinking, if I had a girl, I would treat her really well. Little did I know, they don't always like that.
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It's difficult to feel silly and depressed at the same time, but I manage.
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Everybody's angry with me because, apparently, I outed my cousin during an argument over a turkey leg. My cousin goes, 'You had the last leg.' I was like, 'You're gay.
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I don't know if it's the economy, but finding work as a spiritual guru is really hard. Maybe I should grow my hair out.
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Violence is never the answer, unless you don't feel like talking.
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If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.
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Laughing at ones own attempt at humor while saying things just come to me should be punishable by death.
Dov Davidoff
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TV can be an acronym for television or transvestite. I prefer using it to describe the the latter. The former is strange and undignified.
Dov Davidoff