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Big black guys fear air travel almost as much as old white women fear big black guys.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff
Suicide is a terrible idea, but if you're going to end it, do so at a Pinkberry near you.
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I've never understood why anybody makes a big deal about mansions. It's just a house with more rooms. You still have to face yourself.
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Anticipation almost always exceeds the reality of that which we anticipated.
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Hanging out with women on a platonic level is like spending time with someone from Europe. It's not better or worse, but it is different.
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Thinking about the fathomless cruelty with which man has treated his fellow man, but also ice cream.
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I wish I could be attracted to unattractive women. They're just more interesting.
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The more I get to know people, the less I know about people.
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People that say I'm really sensitive rarely are.
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Money can't buy happiness, unless you're favorite hooker's name is 'Happiness'.
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Do you love me for me?... I don't even love me for me.
Dov Davidoff
When being interviewed by a woman for a job, never begin with listen up doll face.
Dov Davidoff
Bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend sends you reeling in a search for new adjectives to describe stupidity and thoughtlessness?
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White people set goals, rappers 'chase paper', and the Chinese are too busy doing both to talk about either one.
Dov Davidoff
What is sex addiction? I asked a doctor and the guys goes, Sex addiction... People will end up doing something they don't want to do just for sex. Isn't that called a first date, man? If sex was the result of something I wanted to do, there'd be condoms all over my PlayStation.
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Love is nature's LSD. You're going to see things that aren't really there.
Dov Davidoff
A picture is worth a thousand words, but conversations with them generally end in dissapointment.
Dov Davidoff
The Statue of Liberty really is profound, I just wish she'd lighten up a bit.
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People would be so much more interesting if they'd behave like who they are, and not like what they think others expect them to be.
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It's difficult to feel silly and depressed at the same time, but I manage.
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If only you understood the way I felt... it wouldn't help much because I don't really like you as a person.
Dov Davidoff