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Big black guys fear air travel almost as much as old white women fear big black guys.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff
Do you love me for me?... I don't even love me for me.
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All politicians promise that which they cannot deliver. I just wish they did so less gleefully.
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America has so much debt, if she were a person she'd need a co-signer to get a car loan.
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Please reduce the expectation in your tone when asking me how my day is going.
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People shouldn't take my lack of interest in what they're saying personally. I don't really care about what I'm saying most of the time.
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Next time I spank a girl during sex, I'll say, this is going to hurt me more than it will you.
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A picture is worth a thousand words, but conversations with them generally end in dissapointment.
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Why hasn't anyone opened a night club named 'No Drugs Allowed, Wink, Wink'?
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Can you spare some change? is never a good pick up line.
Dov Davidoff
Age is just a number, unless of course your trying to have a conversation with them.
Dov Davidoff
Fake titties are inversely proportioned to their owners level of self esteem. This being said, part of me loves them.
Dov Davidoff
You can't fool the American people - politician trying to fool the American people.
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The downside of aging is a slower metabolism and achy joints.The upside is a knowledge of self that prevents one from behaving like a baboon.
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People increase their use of the term 'sir' when their angry. Little do they know, it only causes me to feel more like I'm wearing a top hat.
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Laughing at ones own attempt at humor while saying things just come to me should be punishable by death.
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Maybe necrophiliacs are just people that want to have sex without a lot of talking.
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Living by the beach means feeling guilty about never going to the beach.
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I like shitty strip clubs. They look like what they are. I know what to expect. Unlike Congress, at least we know everybody is for sale.
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Comedy is rarely funny.
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Someday I'd like to be a father, not of a human child, but something more reasonable.
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