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Few things are as uniquely painful as bad comedy, and the realization that the human mind is a house of mirrors with no entrance and no exit.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
Comedy
House
Entrance
Human
Uniquely
Humans
Entrances
Mind
Exit
Things
Realization
Mirrors
Painful

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When rappers call each other son it leads me to believe they don't take fatherhood very seriously.
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Sleep is over rated, then again so is being awake.
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Fear can be a great motivator, just not during foreplay.
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Gay men greet each other just like straight guys do... If one of the straight guys saved the other one's life.
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Please reduce the expectation in your tone when asking me how my day is going.
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The color red is associated with romance and blood, but not at the same time.
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Was thinking of taking a yoga class, then realized I wasn't gay. Whew. Close one.
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Drugs in a disco are great for white people because it allows them to feel more Puerto Rican while dancing.
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If only St. Valentine was around to see his memory celebrated through the mindless marketing of whipping cream and lingerie.
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Being homeless is awful, but if you've ever tried to wrestle a duvet cover back onto a comforter you realise it's not without it's benefits.
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The language of love may be universal, but it's not one of the options on an ATM machine.
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My job as a comedian is to heighten awareness about locally grown produce, fight factory farming, and promote euthanasia, but in a funny way.
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Flying first class means sitting next to a better class of person I don't want to talk to.
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Gotta get rid of these free radicals, but first I need to figure out what they are.
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Maybe necrophiliacs are just people that want to have sex without a lot of talking.
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We're in this together usually means I'm here for you, unless it requires me getting into my car anywhere near rush hour.
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Anyone who says I would never hit a woman hasn't met my x girlfriend.
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Violence is never the answer, unless you don't feel like talking.
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Whoever said life without love isn't worth living didn't own an iPhone. These things are great.
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I'm neither professional fighter nor physicist, therefore on some level I will always consider myself a failure.
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