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Few things are as uniquely painful as bad comedy, and the realization that the human mind is a house of mirrors with no entrance and no exit.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
Things
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff

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I would imagine that not having any potential could be less difficult than not fulfilling it.
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Not sure how I feel about reality. I'm going to begin purchasing stuffed animals and endowing them with the qualities people in my life lack.
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My dad was old school Jewish. Not do your taxes Jewish - steal your car Jewish.
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When cornered, a rattle snake can become so angry it's been known to bite itself, which is exactly how I feel in traffic and relationships.
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Many television weather-women were one abusive parent away from prostitution.
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If I ever move in with a woman, she'll have to be really comfortable with unhappiness.
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Cities with a black middle class provide the narrow minded an opportunity to realize that cultural differences are largely economic.
Dov Davidoff
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Mirrors at the gym only serve to remind me that I'm less of a man than I'd like to be.
Dov Davidoff
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False humility is thinly veiled ego disguised as self confidence.
Dov Davidoff
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The rift between culture and pop-culture has never been greater.
Dov Davidoff
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My job as a comedian is to heighten awareness about locally grown produce, fight factory farming, and promote euthanasia, but in a funny way.
Dov Davidoff
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Being anti-social can also mean that you're aware of how annoying it is to be social.
Dov Davidoff
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Fake titties are inversely proportioned to their owners level of self esteem. This being said, part of me loves them.
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I'd put my faith in god, but I haven't met him, and I've been hurt before.
Dov Davidoff
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If only St. Valentine was around to see his memory celebrated through the mindless marketing of whipping cream and lingerie.
Dov Davidoff
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You think you have anger issues? I just yelled at a sandwich. Not kidding.
Dov Davidoff
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White people set goals, rappers 'chase paper', and the Chinese are too busy doing both to talk about either one.
Dov Davidoff
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Flying first class means sitting next to a better class of person I don't want to talk to.
Dov Davidoff
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Is it a bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend makes you say things like, Satan is a myth... I guess.
Dov Davidoff
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Just saw a t-shirt at the gym said, body by torture. That's a lot less ironic if you're a political prisoner in the Middle East.
Dov Davidoff