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Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff
If only you understood the way I felt... it wouldn't help much because I don't really like you as a person.
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Domestic violence isn't funny, especially if you live together.
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America has so much debt, if she were a person she'd need a co-signer to get a car loan.
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MTV has turned more young women into whores than poverty.
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When rappers call each other son it leads me to believe they don't take fatherhood very seriously.
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Most public bathrooms now have automatic toilet sensors. People can't even be trusted to flush.
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I like shitty strip clubs. They look like what they are. I know what to expect. Unlike Congress, at least we know everybody is for sale.
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Can you spare some change? is never a good pick up line.
Dov Davidoff
People increase their use of the term 'sir' when their angry. Little do they know, it only causes me to feel more like I'm wearing a top hat.
Dov Davidoff
The Statue of Liberty really is profound, I just wish she'd lighten up a bit.
Dov Davidoff
Drugs in a disco are great for white people because it allows them to feel more Puerto Rican while dancing.
Dov Davidoff
I like Irish pubs, except for all the loud music and drinking, and people acting like idiots.
Dov Davidoff
People that say I'm really sensitive rarely are.
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If you hug someone goodbye and their response is what the hell are you doing? - you may want to examine you're definition of close friend.
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If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.
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Being anti-social can also mean that you're aware of how annoying it is to be social.
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I wish I could be attracted to unattractive women. They're just more interesting.
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Next time I spank a girl during sex, I'll say, this is going to hurt me more than it will you.
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Not sure how I feel about reality. I'm going to begin purchasing stuffed animals and endowing them with the qualities people in my life lack.
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If you're an adult and still think material wealth leads to happiness, might I suggest not being a moron.
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