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Nike store won't accept my Starbucks card as payment. Come on guys, just do it.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
Accepting
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Come
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Stores
Cards
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Guys
Accept
Nike

More quotes by Dov Davidoff

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Just saw a woman with a t-shirt that said southern and sassy, it's all good. Well madame, I beg to differ, it is in fact, not 'all good'.
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The Statue of Liberty really is profound, I just wish she'd lighten up a bit.
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Just saw a t-shirt at the gym said, body by torture. That's a lot less ironic if you're a political prisoner in the Middle East.
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Fear can be a great motivator, just not during foreplay.
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The rift between culture and pop-culture has never been greater.
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Next time I spank a girl during sex, I'll say, this is going to hurt me more than it will you.
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You know you've lived in LA to long when what you fear most about prison is a lack of organic produce.
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I would imagine that most of the people who consider themselves successful aren't, at least in the ways that really matter-myself included.
Dov Davidoff
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Why hasn't anyone opened a night club named 'No Drugs Allowed, Wink, Wink'?
Dov Davidoff
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Everybody wants to be more wanted, until they are.
Dov Davidoff
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Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.
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Everybody's angry with me because, apparently, I outed my cousin during an argument over a turkey leg. My cousin goes, 'You had the last leg.' I was like, 'You're gay.
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I'm no quitter, unless it comes to human relationships or math and science.
Dov Davidoff
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A picture is worth a thousand words, but conversations with them generally end in dissapointment.
Dov Davidoff
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America has so much debt, if she were a person she'd need a co-signer to get a car loan.
Dov Davidoff
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Living one's life with unguarded vulnerability is one of the keys to happiness. It's also one of the keys to getting mugged.
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Whoever said life without love isn't worth living didn't own an iPhone. These things are great.
Dov Davidoff
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You can't assume the best about people. If I get a girl home and she takes her pants off, and it looks like she's got herpes, I can't afford to assume she got stung by a pack of bees.
Dov Davidoff
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Looking into blood doping. I think it will allow me to write jokes with greater intensity, and for a longer period of time.
Dov Davidoff
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Someday I'd like to be a father, not of a human child, but something more reasonable.
Dov Davidoff