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Nike store won't accept my Starbucks card as payment. Come on guys, just do it.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
Acceptance
Guys
Accept
Nike
Accepting
Payment
Guy
Card
Come
Store
Stores
Cards

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Cheerleaders are simultaneously everything that is right and wrong with the world.
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The Statue of Liberty really is profound, I just wish she'd lighten up a bit.
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What is sex addiction? I asked a doctor and the guys goes, Sex addiction... People will end up doing something they don't want to do just for sex. Isn't that called a first date, man? If sex was the result of something I wanted to do, there'd be condoms all over my PlayStation.
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Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.
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I like Irish pubs, except for all the loud music and drinking, and people acting like idiots.
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If only St. Valentine was around to see his memory celebrated through the mindless marketing of whipping cream and lingerie.
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Love is nature's LSD. You're going to see things that aren't really there.
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Is there anything more attractive than a woman in high heels and low self esteem?
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Lack of sleep is only bad if you have to drive, or think, or talk, or move.
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Money can't buy happiness, unless you're favorite hooker's name is 'Happiness'.
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Few things are as uniquely painful as bad comedy, and the realization that the human mind is a house of mirrors with no entrance and no exit.
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Every time I see someone taking care of a baby, I think why in the world would anyone willingly saddle themselves with that responsibility?
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I would imagine that not having any potential could be less difficult than not fulfilling it.
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Facebook is great for getting upset about things people say even though you haven't seen them in 12 years.
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