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Nike store won't accept my Starbucks card as payment. Come on guys, just do it.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff
The human spirit is indomitable, unless your talking specifically about the people I know.
Dov Davidoff
Only bugs can truly appreciate the beauty of flowers.
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The downside of aging is a slower metabolism and achy joints.The upside is a knowledge of self that prevents one from behaving like a baboon.
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We're in this together usually means I'm here for you, unless it requires me getting into my car anywhere near rush hour.
Dov Davidoff
America has so much debt, if she were a person she'd need a co-signer to get a car loan.
Dov Davidoff
Upside of being an attractive woman if you're remotely intelligent, people will treat you like you're brilliant. Downside: same thing.
Dov Davidoff
The Statue of Liberty really is profound, I just wish she'd lighten up a bit.
Dov Davidoff
Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.
Dov Davidoff
When being interviewed by a woman for a job, never begin with listen up doll face.
Dov Davidoff
Flying first class means sitting next to a better class of person I don't want to talk to.
Dov Davidoff
I spend so much time alone that whenever I see my shadow I feel crowded.
Dov Davidoff
False humility is thinly veiled ego disguised as self confidence.
Dov Davidoff
Someday I'd like to be a father, not of a human child, but something more reasonable.
Dov Davidoff
I don't know if it's the economy, but finding work as a spiritual guru is really hard. Maybe I should grow my hair out.
Dov Davidoff
If you hug someone goodbye and their response is what the hell are you doing? - you may want to examine you're definition of close friend.
Dov Davidoff
If you love sleep, you'll really enjoy death.
Dov Davidoff
Fountains are more romantic when you don't hate the person you're with.
Dov Davidoff
Few things are more annoying than too many of any one ethnicity in the same room.
Dov Davidoff
I'd put my faith in god, but I haven't met him, and I've been hurt before.
Dov Davidoff
TV can be an acronym for television or transvestite. I prefer using it to describe the the latter. The former is strange and undignified.
Dov Davidoff