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Statistically speaking, when a woman says I'm not going to have sex with you, she'll often have sex with you.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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Please reduce the expectation in your tone when asking me how my day is going.
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Learn to think for yourself, unless of course you can identify someone else with better judgement, and a flashlight.
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If I ever move in with a woman, she'll have to be really comfortable with unhappiness.
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When cornered, a rattle snake can become so angry it's been known to bite itself, which is exactly how I feel in traffic and relationships.
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I've never understood why anybody makes a big deal about mansions. It's just a house with more rooms. You still have to face yourself.
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Age is just a number, unless of course your trying to have a conversation with them.
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Hard to explain to a guard dog that you need it to protect you from yourself.
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I like Irish pubs, except for all the loud music and drinking, and people acting like idiots.
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If only you understood the way I felt... it wouldn't help much because I don't really like you as a person.
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I'm neither professional fighter nor physicist, therefore on some level I will always consider myself a failure.
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The entertainment business is to business what plastic flowers are to flowers.
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Money can't buy happiness, unless you're favorite hooker's name is 'Happiness'.
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Everybody's angry with me because, apparently, I outed my cousin during an argument over a turkey leg. My cousin goes, 'You had the last leg.' I was like, 'You're gay.
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If only St. Valentine was around to see his memory celebrated through the mindless marketing of whipping cream and lingerie.
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Lack of sleep is only bad if you have to drive, or think, or talk, or move.
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Everybody wants to be more wanted, until they are.
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Fountains are more romantic when you don't hate the person you're with.
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I wish I could be attracted to unattractive women. They're just more interesting.
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