Quote

Stop thanking god for your parking spot. He had nothing to do with it, and if he did, I want nothing to do with him.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
Thanking
Parking
Spot
Spots
Stop
Nothing

More quotes by Dov Davidoff

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If I ever move in with a woman, she'll have to be really comfortable with unhappiness.
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Perhaps depression is a perfectly natural reaction to the human condition.
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Writing good jokes requires effort. Think I'll just start dressing funnier.
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Living by the beach means feeling guilty about never going to the beach.
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Not sure how I feel about reality. I'm going to begin purchasing stuffed animals and endowing them with the qualities people in my life lack.
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Learn to think for yourself, unless of course you can identify someone else with better judgement, and a flashlight.
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Brain damage and stupidity are very different things, but can have similar effects on the wearer.
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Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.
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I think you have a lot to offer... not necessarily as a person, but as an organ donor.
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Money can't buy happiness, unless you're favorite hooker's name is 'Happiness'.
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I'm no quitter, unless it comes to human relationships or math and science.
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America has so much debt, if she were a person she'd need a co-signer to get a car loan.
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Lack of sleep is only bad if you have to drive, or think, or talk, or move.
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I wish I could be attracted to unattractive women. They're just more interesting.
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Few things are as uniquely painful as bad comedy, and the realization that the human mind is a house of mirrors with no entrance and no exit.
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It's a shame that physical beauty often has such a negative effect on its occupant.
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Love is nature's LSD. You're going to see things that aren't really there.
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The entertainment business is to business what plastic flowers are to flowers.
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The quality of a restaurant's food is inversely proportioned to the amount of fun its staff seems to be having.
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Next time I spank a girl during sex, I'll say, this is going to hurt me more than it will you.
Dov Davidoff