Quote

Stop thanking god for your parking spot. He had nothing to do with it, and if he did, I want nothing to do with him.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
Spot
Spots
Stop
Nothing
Thanking
Parking

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Fountains are more romantic when you don't hate the person you're with.
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False humility is thinly veiled ego disguised as self confidence.
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The color red is associated with romance and blood, but not at the same time.
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TV can be an acronym for television or transvestite. I prefer using it to describe the the latter. The former is strange and undignified.
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Living one's life with unguarded vulnerability is one of the keys to happiness. It's also one of the keys to getting mugged.
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I like Irish pubs, except for all the loud music and drinking, and people acting like idiots.
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Do you ever have one of those weeks where you know nothings gonna go right?
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If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.
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I like shitty strip clubs. They look like what they are. I know what to expect. Unlike Congress, at least we know everybody is for sale.
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If you're an adult and still think material wealth leads to happiness, might I suggest not being a moron.
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Comedy is rarely funny.
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Flying first class means sitting next to a better class of person I don't want to talk to.
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Learn to think for yourself, unless of course you can identify someone else with better judgement, and a flashlight.
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Was thinking of taking a yoga class, then realized I wasn't gay. Whew. Close one.
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Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.
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MTV has turned more young women into whores than poverty.
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We're in this together usually means I'm here for you, unless it requires me getting into my car anywhere near rush hour.
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I find anger so comforting. It's like a blanket made of unresolved issues, but it's a blanket none the less.
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I've decided to become gay, not in a sexual way, but I am going to start picking up around the house.
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Anticipation almost always exceeds the reality of that which we anticipated.
Dov Davidoff