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If only you understood the way I felt... it wouldn't help much because I don't really like you as a person.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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Next time I spank a girl during sex, I'll say, this is going to hurt me more than it will you.
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You can't fool the American people - politician trying to fool the American people.
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Guys don't use the word pretty enough. Like, hey Mike, did you get that shirt at the game? Looks really pretty on you.
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My dad was old school Jewish. Not do your taxes Jewish - steal your car Jewish.
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The rift between culture and pop-culture has never been greater.
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Drugs in a disco are great for white people because it allows them to feel more Puerto Rican while dancing.
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I wish that every other guy were gay. Think about the leverage that would create in your relationship.
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Fake titties are inversely proportioned to their owners level of self esteem. This being said, part of me loves them.
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When being interviewed by a woman for a job, never begin with listen up doll face.
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Animals look at people the way people look at people that might mug them.
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Being anti-social can also mean that you're aware of how annoying it is to be social.
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It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.
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Fear can be a great motivator, just not during foreplay.
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I'm no quitter, unless it comes to human relationships or math and science.
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Few things interest me more than the things people don't say.
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A picture is worth a thousand words, but conversations with them generally end in dissapointment.
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Horoscopes, like bad sitcoms, are created for people that I don't relate to.
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Gay men greet each other just like straight guys do... If one of the straight guys saved the other one's life.
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Anticipation almost always exceeds the reality of that which we anticipated.
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America is a hot chick with a bad personality. Take her seriously and you'll end up hating yourself.
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