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If only you understood the way I felt... it wouldn't help much because I don't really like you as a person.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff

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America's objective in the Middle East is to create democracy in the same way that my goal on a first date to feed women.
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I spend so much time alone that whenever I see my shadow I feel crowded.
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It's difficult to feel silly and depressed at the same time, but I manage.
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Life is fragile, unless your in the NFL in which case you'll need to wear padding.
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Sleep is over rated, then again so is being awake.
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Skin heads are doing an awful job of promoting racism. You guys need to loosen up, and for god's sake would it kill you to smile.
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The quality of a restaurant's food is inversely proportioned to the amount of fun its staff seems to be having.
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Anticipation almost always exceeds the reality of that which we anticipated.
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Hanging out with women on a platonic level is like spending time with someone from Europe. It's not better or worse, but it is different.
Dov Davidoff
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My dad was old school Jewish. Not do your taxes Jewish - steal your car Jewish.
Dov Davidoff
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I find anger so comforting. It's like a blanket made of unresolved issues, but it's a blanket none the less.
Dov Davidoff
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If you love sleep, you'll really enjoy death.
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I'm passionate about gay rights, but I think we need admit that there are some gay wrongs as well.
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Only bugs can truly appreciate the beauty of flowers.
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Cheerleaders are simultaneously everything that is right and wrong with the world.
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All politicians promise that which they cannot deliver. I just wish they did so less gleefully.
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If I ever move in with a woman, she'll have to be really comfortable with unhappiness.
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I wish I could be attracted to unattractive women. They're just more interesting.
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I consider myself a patriot, but not for the traditional reasons. I'm just really passionate about apple pie.
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Comedy is rarely funny.
Dov Davidoff