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If only you understood the way I felt... it wouldn't help much because I don't really like you as a person.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff

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The Statue of Liberty really is profound, I just wish she'd lighten up a bit.
Dov Davidoff
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If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.
Dov Davidoff
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Facebook is great for getting upset about things people say even though you haven't seen them in 12 years.
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All politicians promise that which they cannot deliver. I just wish they did so less gleefully.
Dov Davidoff
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How come the term 'threesome' is always used in a sexual context? What, nobody plays string instruments any more?
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Learn to think for yourself, unless of course you can identify someone else with better judgement, and a flashlight.
Dov Davidoff
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Sleep is over rated, then again so is being awake.
Dov Davidoff
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I consider myself a patriot, but not for the traditional reasons. I'm just really passionate about apple pie.
Dov Davidoff
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I don't know if it's the economy, but finding work as a spiritual guru is really hard. Maybe I should grow my hair out.
Dov Davidoff
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False humility is thinly veiled ego disguised as self confidence.
Dov Davidoff
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Many television weather-women were one abusive parent away from prostitution.
Dov Davidoff
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You know you've lived in LA to long when what you fear most about prison is a lack of organic produce.
Dov Davidoff
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Just saw a t-shirt at the gym said, body by torture. That's a lot less ironic if you're a political prisoner in the Middle East.
Dov Davidoff
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When cornered, a rattle snake can become so angry it's been known to bite itself, which is exactly how I feel in traffic and relationships.
Dov Davidoff
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I spend so much time alone that whenever I see my shadow I feel crowded.
Dov Davidoff
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You can't fool the American people - politician trying to fool the American people.
Dov Davidoff
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Skin heads are doing an awful job of promoting racism. You guys need to loosen up, and for god's sake would it kill you to smile.
Dov Davidoff
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Heard someone say children are god's gift to the world. What world are you referring to? And what's your definition of gift?
Dov Davidoff
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MTV has turned more young women into whores than poverty.
Dov Davidoff
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A picture is worth a thousand words, but conversations with them generally end in dissapointment.
Dov Davidoff