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Violence is never the answer, unless you don't feel like talking.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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If only St. Valentine was around to see his memory celebrated through the mindless marketing of whipping cream and lingerie.
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If you're an adult and still think material wealth leads to happiness, might I suggest not being a moron.
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It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.
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I like Irish pubs, except for all the loud music and drinking, and people acting like idiots.
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It's a shame that physical beauty often has such a negative effect on its occupant.
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Anticipation almost always exceeds the reality of that which we anticipated.
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Every time I see someone taking care of a baby, I think why in the world would anyone willingly saddle themselves with that responsibility?
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I would imagine that not having any potential could be less difficult than not fulfilling it.
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Bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend sends you reeling in a search for new adjectives to describe stupidity and thoughtlessness?
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You know you've lived in LA to long when what you fear most about prison is a lack of organic produce.
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Living by the beach means feeling guilty about never going to the beach.
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America is a hot chick with a bad personality. Take her seriously and you'll end up hating yourself.
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How come the term 'threesome' is always used in a sexual context? What, nobody plays string instruments any more?
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Facebook is great for getting upset about things people say even though you haven't seen them in 12 years.
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Only bugs can truly appreciate the beauty of flowers.
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Why hasn't anyone opened a night club named 'No Drugs Allowed, Wink, Wink'?
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I like shitty strip clubs. They look like what they are. I know what to expect. Unlike Congress, at least we know everybody is for sale.
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Upside of being an attractive woman if you're remotely intelligent, people will treat you like you're brilliant. Downside: same thing.
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