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Violence is never the answer, unless you don't feel like talking.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff
People shouldn't take my lack of interest in what they're saying personally. I don't really care about what I'm saying most of the time.
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If I ever move in with a woman, she'll have to be really comfortable with unhappiness.
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I've decided to become gay, not in a sexual way, but I am going to start picking up around the house.
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Please reduce the expectation in your tone when asking me how my day is going.
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Horoscopes, like bad sitcoms, are created for people that I don't relate to.
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Just saw a woman with a t-shirt that said southern and sassy, it's all good. Well madame, I beg to differ, it is in fact, not 'all good'.
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Is it a bad sign when you see the person you're dating and get the same feeling as if you just saw police lights in you're rear view mirror?
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The Nazis were well dressed. Today's racists are a rag-tag bunch with no sense of style or panache.
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Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.
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Most public bathrooms now have automatic toilet sensors. People can't even be trusted to flush.
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Perhaps depression is a perfectly natural reaction to the human condition.
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Everybody wants to be more wanted, until they are.
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Health food would seem healthier if the people that sold it looked less unhealthy.
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The quality of a restaurant's food is inversely proportioned to the amount of fun its staff seems to be having.
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America's objective in the Middle East is to create democracy in the same way that my goal on a first date to feed women.
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Flying first class means sitting next to a better class of person I don't want to talk to.
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The entertainment business is to business what plastic flowers are to flowers.
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Is there anything more attractive than a woman in high heels and low self esteem?
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You can't fool the American people - politician trying to fool the American people.
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Skin heads are doing an awful job of promoting racism. You guys need to loosen up, and for god's sake would it kill you to smile.
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