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A lot of people in a LA need to take a break from taking a break.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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Do you ever have one of those weeks where you know nothings gonna go right?
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Was thinking of taking a yoga class, then realized I wasn't gay. Whew. Close one.
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Can you spare some change? is never a good pick up line.
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Fountains are more romantic when you don't hate the person you're with.
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The rift between culture and pop-culture has never been greater.
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Is it a bad sign when you see the person you're dating and get the same feeling as if you just saw police lights in you're rear view mirror?
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Suicide is a terrible idea, but if you're going to end it, do so at a Pinkberry near you.
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The language of love may be universal, but it's not one of the options on an ATM machine.
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If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.
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Living by the beach means feeling guilty about never going to the beach.
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I spend so much time alone that whenever I see my shadow I feel crowded.
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People that say I'm really sensitive rarely are.
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When being interviewed by a woman for a job, never begin with listen up doll face.
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People shouldn't take my lack of interest in what they're saying personally. I don't really care about what I'm saying most of the time.
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Hard to explain to a guard dog that you need it to protect you from yourself.
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Few things are as uniquely painful as bad comedy, and the realization that the human mind is a house of mirrors with no entrance and no exit.
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Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.
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Cheerleaders are simultaneously everything that is right and wrong with the world.
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If you hug someone goodbye and their response is what the hell are you doing? - you may want to examine you're definition of close friend.
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Stop thanking god for your parking spot. He had nothing to do with it, and if he did, I want nothing to do with him.
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