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The color red is associated with romance and blood, but not at the same time.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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Red
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Animals look at people the way people look at people that might mug them.
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Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.
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Laughing at ones own attempt at humor while saying things just come to me should be punishable by death.
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Thinking about the fathomless cruelty with which man has treated his fellow man, but also ice cream.
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The good things in life are free, except for health care, and electricity.
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People increase their use of the term 'sir' when their angry. Little do they know, it only causes me to feel more like I'm wearing a top hat.
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Domestic violence isn't funny, especially if you live together.
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Anticipation almost always exceeds the reality of that which we anticipated.
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Brain damage and stupidity are very different things, but can have similar effects on the wearer.
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If you love sleep, you'll really enjoy death.
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Canadians are like Americans, just less racist, violent, and ignorant.
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When cornered, a rattle snake can become so angry it's been known to bite itself, which is exactly how I feel in traffic and relationships.
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The rift between culture and pop-culture has never been greater.
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Writing good jokes requires effort. Think I'll just start dressing funnier.
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I find anger so comforting. It's like a blanket made of unresolved issues, but it's a blanket none the less.
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What is sex addiction? I asked a doctor and the guys goes, Sex addiction... People will end up doing something they don't want to do just for sex. Isn't that called a first date, man? If sex was the result of something I wanted to do, there'd be condoms all over my PlayStation.
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Is there anything more attractive than a woman in high heels and low self esteem?
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Guys don't use the word pretty enough. Like, hey Mike, did you get that shirt at the game? Looks really pretty on you.
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Horoscopes, like bad sitcoms, are created for people that I don't relate to.
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Suicide is a terrible idea, but if you're going to end it, do so at a Pinkberry near you.
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