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The color red is associated with romance and blood, but not at the same time.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff
Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.
Dov Davidoff
Is there anything more attractive than a woman in high heels and low self esteem?
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Money can't buy happiness, unless you're favorite hooker's name is 'Happiness'.
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Domestic violence isn't funny, especially if you live together.
Dov Davidoff
The rift between culture and pop-culture has never been greater.
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People who say life is precious don't spend much time on line at the airport.
Dov Davidoff
Few things interest me more than the things people don't say.
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Whoever said life without love isn't worth living didn't own an iPhone. These things are great.
Dov Davidoff
Stop thanking god for your parking spot. He had nothing to do with it, and if he did, I want nothing to do with him.
Dov Davidoff
Horoscopes, like bad sitcoms, are created for people that I don't relate to.
Dov Davidoff
You think you have anger issues? I just yelled at a sandwich. Not kidding.
Dov Davidoff
My job as a comedian is to heighten awareness about locally grown produce, fight factory farming, and promote euthanasia, but in a funny way.
Dov Davidoff
People would be so much more interesting if they'd behave like who they are, and not like what they think others expect them to be.
Dov Davidoff
Sleep is over rated, then again so is being awake.
Dov Davidoff
Lack of sleep is only bad if you have to drive, or think, or talk, or move.
Dov Davidoff
Every time I see someone taking care of a baby, I think why in the world would anyone willingly saddle themselves with that responsibility?
Dov Davidoff
Anyone who says I would never hit a woman hasn't met my x girlfriend.
Dov Davidoff
The good things in life are free, except for health care, and electricity.
Dov Davidoff
Gotta get rid of these free radicals, but first I need to figure out what they are.
Dov Davidoff
Bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend sends you reeling in a search for new adjectives to describe stupidity and thoughtlessness?
Dov Davidoff