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The color red is associated with romance and blood, but not at the same time.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
Romance
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Facebook is great for getting upset about things people say even though you haven't seen them in 12 years.
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Skin heads are doing an awful job of promoting racism. You guys need to loosen up, and for god's sake would it kill you to smile.
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If you're an adult and still think material wealth leads to happiness, might I suggest not being a moron.
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My job as a comedian is to heighten awareness about locally grown produce, fight factory farming, and promote euthanasia, but in a funny way.
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I've decided to retreat to the spirit world where I feel appreciated and understood.
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Just saw a t-shirt at the gym said, body by torture. That's a lot less ironic if you're a political prisoner in the Middle East.
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Cheerleaders are simultaneously everything that is right and wrong with the world.
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I wish I could be attracted to unattractive women. They're just more interesting.
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You can't fool the American people - politician trying to fool the American people.
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Most public bathrooms now have automatic toilet sensors. People can't even be trusted to flush.
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Is it a bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend makes you say things like, Satan is a myth... I guess.
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Upside of being an attractive woman if you're remotely intelligent, people will treat you like you're brilliant. Downside: same thing.
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The more I get to know people, the less I know about people.
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Is it a bad sign when someone asks you about the person your dating and a tear falls from your eye as you leap into oncoming traffic?
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MTV has turned more young women into whores than poverty.
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Thinking about the fathomless cruelty with which man has treated his fellow man, but also ice cream.
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Fountains are more romantic when you don't hate the person you're with.
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Looking into blood doping. I think it will allow me to write jokes with greater intensity, and for a longer period of time.
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Not sure how I feel about reality. I'm going to begin purchasing stuffed animals and endowing them with the qualities people in my life lack.
Dov Davidoff
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Few things are more annoying than too many of any one ethnicity in the same room.
Dov Davidoff