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The color red is associated with romance and blood, but not at the same time.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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People that say I'm really sensitive rarely are.
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Suicide is like the ejector button in the cockpit of an F-15. If life goes into a permanent tail spin, it's nice to know the option is there.
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Is it a bad sign when someone asks you about the person your dating and a tear falls from your eye as you leap into oncoming traffic?
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All politicians promise that which they cannot deliver. I just wish they did so less gleefully.
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Hanging out with women on a platonic level is like spending time with someone from Europe. It's not better or worse, but it is different.
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Being proud of your nationality is like congratulating yourself for inheriting money.
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Sleep is over rated, then again so is being awake.
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When maintaining a relationship means diminishing your self, it's time to walk.
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I think you have a lot to offer... not necessarily as a person, but as an organ donor.
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Next time I spank a girl during sex, I'll say, this is going to hurt me more than it will you.
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Latin women enjoy being women more than other women.
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Being anti-social can also mean that you're aware of how annoying it is to be social.
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Hard to explain to a guard dog that you need it to protect you from yourself.
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If you're an adult and still think material wealth leads to happiness, might I suggest not being a moron.
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My job as a comedian is to heighten awareness about locally grown produce, fight factory farming, and promote euthanasia, but in a funny way.
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Money can't buy happiness, unless you're favorite hooker's name is 'Happiness'.
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Just saw a t-shirt at the gym said, body by torture. That's a lot less ironic if you're a political prisoner in the Middle East.
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Fake titties are inversely proportioned to their owners level of self esteem. This being said, part of me loves them.
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Being homeless is awful, but if you've ever tried to wrestle a duvet cover back onto a comforter you realise it's not without it's benefits.
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What is sex addiction? I asked a doctor and the guys goes, Sex addiction... People will end up doing something they don't want to do just for sex. Isn't that called a first date, man? If sex was the result of something I wanted to do, there'd be condoms all over my PlayStation.
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