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Animals look at people the way people look at people that might mug them.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff
Is it a bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend makes you say things like, Satan is a myth... I guess.
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Heard someone say children are god's gift to the world. What world are you referring to? And what's your definition of gift?
Dov Davidoff
Upside of being an attractive woman if you're remotely intelligent, people will treat you like you're brilliant. Downside: same thing.
Dov Davidoff
The entertainment business is to business what plastic flowers are to flowers.
Dov Davidoff
If you're an adult and still think material wealth leads to happiness, might I suggest not being a moron.
Dov Davidoff
I'd put my faith in god, but I haven't met him, and I've been hurt before.
Dov Davidoff
If only you understood the way I felt... it wouldn't help much because I don't really like you as a person.
Dov Davidoff
When maintaining a relationship means diminishing your self, it's time to walk.
Dov Davidoff
Everybody's angry with me because, apparently, I outed my cousin during an argument over a turkey leg. My cousin goes, 'You had the last leg.' I was like, 'You're gay.
Dov Davidoff
No one understands the way I feel about things I don't understand.
Dov Davidoff
Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.
Dov Davidoff
Being homeless is awful, but if you've ever tried to wrestle a duvet cover back onto a comforter you realise it's not without it's benefits.
Dov Davidoff
Hanging out with women on a platonic level is like spending time with someone from Europe. It's not better or worse, but it is different.
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Can you spare some change? is never a good pick up line.
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My dad was old school Jewish. Not do your taxes Jewish - steal your car Jewish.
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America's objective in the Middle East is to create democracy in the same way that my goal on a first date to feed women.
Dov Davidoff
I would imagine that not having any potential could be less difficult than not fulfilling it.
Dov Davidoff
Being proud of your nationality is like congratulating yourself for inheriting money.
Dov Davidoff
People who say life is precious don't spend much time on line at the airport.
Dov Davidoff
I've never understood why anybody makes a big deal about mansions. It's just a house with more rooms. You still have to face yourself.
Dov Davidoff