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Animals look at people the way people look at people that might mug them.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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Please use anger for something positive like hurting people that deserve it or writing jokes.
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Is there anything more attractive than a woman in high heels and low self esteem?
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If you love sleep, you'll really enjoy death.
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I would imagine that not having any potential could be less difficult than not fulfilling it.
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MTV has turned more young women into whores than poverty.
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Fake titties are inversely proportioned to their owners level of self esteem. This being said, part of me loves them.
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Laughing at ones own attempt at humor while saying things just come to me should be punishable by death.
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Is it a bad sign when you see the person you're dating and get the same feeling as if you just saw police lights in you're rear view mirror?
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Being homeless is awful, but if you've ever tried to wrestle a duvet cover back onto a comforter you realise it's not without it's benefits.
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Anticipation almost always exceeds the reality of that which we anticipated.
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Bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend sends you reeling in a search for new adjectives to describe stupidity and thoughtlessness?
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Stop thanking god for your parking spot. He had nothing to do with it, and if he did, I want nothing to do with him.
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I like shitty strip clubs. They look like what they are. I know what to expect. Unlike Congress, at least we know everybody is for sale.
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Heard someone say children are god's gift to the world. What world are you referring to? And what's your definition of gift?
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I wish that every other guy were gay. Think about the leverage that would create in your relationship.
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If only you understood the way I felt... it wouldn't help much because I don't really like you as a person.
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The entertainment business is to business what plastic flowers are to flowers.
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It's difficult to feel silly and depressed at the same time, but I manage.
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All politicians promise that which they cannot deliver. I just wish they did so less gleefully.
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Fountains are more romantic when you don't hate the person you're with.
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