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Animals look at people the way people look at people that might mug them.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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America's objective in the Middle East is to create democracy in the same way that my goal on a first date to feed women.
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I don't know if it's the economy, but finding work as a spiritual guru is really hard. Maybe I should grow my hair out.
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Not sure how I feel about reality. I'm going to begin purchasing stuffed animals and endowing them with the qualities people in my life lack.
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It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.
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Being homeless is awful, but if you've ever tried to wrestle a duvet cover back onto a comforter you realise it's not without it's benefits.
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If you hug someone goodbye and their response is what the hell are you doing? - you may want to examine you're definition of close friend.
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Skin heads are doing an awful job of promoting racism. You guys need to loosen up, and for god's sake would it kill you to smile.
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Just saw a woman with a t-shirt that said southern and sassy, it's all good. Well madame, I beg to differ, it is in fact, not 'all good'.
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Domestic violence isn't funny, especially if you live together.
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Horoscopes, like bad sitcoms, are created for people that I don't relate to.
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The entertainment business is to business what plastic flowers are to flowers.
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Statistically speaking, when a woman says I'm not going to have sex with you, she'll often have sex with you.
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Cities with a black middle class provide the narrow minded an opportunity to realize that cultural differences are largely economic.
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Gay men greet each other just like straight guys do... If one of the straight guys saved the other one's life.
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MTV has turned more young women into whores than poverty.
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The Nazis were well dressed. Today's racists are a rag-tag bunch with no sense of style or panache.
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The more I get to know people, the less I know about people.
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The color red is associated with romance and blood, but not at the same time.
Dov Davidoff
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Anticipation almost always exceeds the reality of that which we anticipated.
Dov Davidoff
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Next time I spank a girl during sex, I'll say, this is going to hurt me more than it will you.
Dov Davidoff