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Fountains are more romantic when you don't hate the person you're with.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff
Few things are as uniquely painful as bad comedy, and the realization that the human mind is a house of mirrors with no entrance and no exit.
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When cornered, a rattle snake can become so angry it's been known to bite itself, which is exactly how I feel in traffic and relationships.
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Money can't buy happiness, unless you're favorite hooker's name is 'Happiness'.
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The more I get to know people, the less I know about people.
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I spend so much time alone that whenever I see my shadow I feel crowded.
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America is a hot chick with a bad personality. Take her seriously and you'll end up hating yourself.
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Brain damage and stupidity are very different things, but can have similar effects on the wearer.
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Please reduce the expectation in your tone when asking me how my day is going.
Dov Davidoff
Nike store won't accept my Starbucks card as payment. Come on guys, just do it.
Dov Davidoff
Next time I spank a girl during sex, I'll say, this is going to hurt me more than it will you.
Dov Davidoff
Is there anything more attractive than a woman in high heels and low self esteem?
Dov Davidoff
Many television weather-women were one abusive parent away from prostitution.
Dov Davidoff
When maintaining a relationship means diminishing your self, it's time to walk.
Dov Davidoff
I wonder if anybody ever decided to commit suicide, then thought but first I'm going to stop by that taco place I like so much.
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We're in this together usually means I'm here for you, unless it requires me getting into my car anywhere near rush hour.
Dov Davidoff
Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.
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Someday I'd like to be a father, not of a human child, but something more reasonable.
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Gotta get rid of these free radicals, but first I need to figure out what they are.
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I like shitty strip clubs. They look like what they are. I know what to expect. Unlike Congress, at least we know everybody is for sale.
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I've decided to retreat to the spirit world where I feel appreciated and understood.
Dov Davidoff