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Fountains are more romantic when you don't hate the person you're with.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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I like Irish pubs, except for all the loud music and drinking, and people acting like idiots.
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Next time I spank a girl during sex, I'll say, this is going to hurt me more than it will you.
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When cornered, a rattle snake can become so angry it's been known to bite itself, which is exactly how I feel in traffic and relationships.
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The entertainment business is to business what plastic flowers are to flowers.
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Living one's life with unguarded vulnerability is one of the keys to happiness. It's also one of the keys to getting mugged.
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The human spirit is indomitable, unless your talking specifically about the people I know.
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How come the term 'threesome' is always used in a sexual context? What, nobody plays string instruments any more?
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The downside of aging is a slower metabolism and achy joints.The upside is a knowledge of self that prevents one from behaving like a baboon.
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I spend so much time alone that whenever I see my shadow I feel crowded.
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The good things in life are free, except for health care, and electricity.
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My job as a comedian is to heighten awareness about locally grown produce, fight factory farming, and promote euthanasia, but in a funny way.
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Cities with a black middle class provide the narrow minded an opportunity to realize that cultural differences are largely economic.
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I would imagine that most of the people who consider themselves successful aren't, at least in the ways that really matter-myself included.
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All politicians promise that which they cannot deliver. I just wish they did so less gleefully.
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Anyone who says I would never hit a woman hasn't met my x girlfriend.
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Gotta get rid of these free radicals, but first I need to figure out what they are.
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I wish I could be attracted to unattractive women. They're just more interesting.
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Heard someone say children are god's gift to the world. What world are you referring to? And what's your definition of gift?
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It's a shame that physical beauty often has such a negative effect on its occupant.
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No one understands the way I feel about things I don't understand.
Dov Davidoff