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The language of love may be universal, but it's not one of the options on an ATM machine.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
Machines
Universal
Language
May
Love
Atm
Options
Machine

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Is it a bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend makes you say things like, Satan is a myth... I guess.
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Pine nuts pound for pound are more expensive than most varieties of smoked salmon. There I said it.
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Maybe necrophiliacs are just people that want to have sex without a lot of talking.
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You can't fool the American people - politician trying to fool the American people.
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I'd put my faith in god, but I haven't met him, and I've been hurt before.
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Everybody's angry with me because, apparently, I outed my cousin during an argument over a turkey leg. My cousin goes, 'You had the last leg.' I was like, 'You're gay.
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Suicide is like the ejector button in the cockpit of an F-15. If life goes into a permanent tail spin, it's nice to know the option is there.
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Just saw a woman with a t-shirt that said southern and sassy, it's all good. Well madame, I beg to differ, it is in fact, not 'all good'.
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I've decided to retreat to the spirit world where I feel appreciated and understood.
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Just saw a t-shirt at the gym said, body by torture. That's a lot less ironic if you're a political prisoner in the Middle East.
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What is sex addiction? I asked a doctor and the guys goes, Sex addiction... People will end up doing something they don't want to do just for sex. Isn't that called a first date, man? If sex was the result of something I wanted to do, there'd be condoms all over my PlayStation.
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A picture is worth a thousand words, but conversations with them generally end in dissapointment.
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Suicide is a terrible idea, but if you're going to end it, do so at a Pinkberry near you.
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