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The language of love may be universal, but it's not one of the options on an ATM machine.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
May
Love
Atm
Options
Machine
Machines
Universal
Language

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Please reduce the expectation in your tone when asking me how my day is going.
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I like shitty strip clubs. They look like what they are. I know what to expect. Unlike Congress, at least we know everybody is for sale.
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Brain damage and stupidity are very different things, but can have similar effects on the wearer.
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If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.
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How come the term 'threesome' is always used in a sexual context? What, nobody plays string instruments any more?
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I've never understood why anybody makes a big deal about mansions. It's just a house with more rooms. You still have to face yourself.
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Just saw a t-shirt at the gym said, body by torture. That's a lot less ironic if you're a political prisoner in the Middle East.
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False humility is thinly veiled ego disguised as self confidence.
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Suicide is like the ejector button in the cockpit of an F-15. If life goes into a permanent tail spin, it's nice to know the option is there.
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It's a shame that physical beauty often has such a negative effect on its occupant.
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Not sure how I feel about reality. I'm going to begin purchasing stuffed animals and endowing them with the qualities people in my life lack.
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Nike store won't accept my Starbucks card as payment. Come on guys, just do it.
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If you got it, flaunt it may be decent advice for prostitutes, but no one else.
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Fear can be a great motivator, just not during foreplay.
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Bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend sends you reeling in a search for new adjectives to describe stupidity and thoughtlessness?
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Hanging out with women on a platonic level is like spending time with someone from Europe. It's not better or worse, but it is different.
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