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When being interviewed by a woman for a job, never begin with listen up doll face.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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Someday I'd like to be a father, not of a human child, but something more reasonable.
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Bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend sends you reeling in a search for new adjectives to describe stupidity and thoughtlessness?
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I think you have a lot to offer... not necessarily as a person, but as an organ donor.
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Thinking about the fathomless cruelty with which man has treated his fellow man, but also ice cream.
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You can't assume the best about people. If I get a girl home and she takes her pants off, and it looks like she's got herpes, I can't afford to assume she got stung by a pack of bees.
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Fear can be a great motivator, just not during foreplay.
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Hanging out with women on a platonic level is like spending time with someone from Europe. It's not better or worse, but it is different.
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The Statue of Liberty really is profound, I just wish she'd lighten up a bit.
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Writing good jokes requires effort. Think I'll just start dressing funnier.
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Is there anything more attractive than a woman in high heels and low self esteem?
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I consider myself a patriot, but not for the traditional reasons. I'm just really passionate about apple pie.
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I like Irish pubs, except for all the loud music and drinking, and people acting like idiots.
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All politicians promise that which they cannot deliver. I just wish they did so less gleefully.
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Sleep is over rated, then again so is being awake.
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People that say I'm really sensitive rarely are.
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Just saw a t-shirt at the gym said, body by torture. That's a lot less ironic if you're a political prisoner in the Middle East.
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Latin women enjoy being women more than other women.
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Fountains are more romantic when you don't hate the person you're with.
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If only St. Valentine was around to see his memory celebrated through the mindless marketing of whipping cream and lingerie.
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America is a hot chick with a bad personality. Take her seriously and you'll end up hating yourself.
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