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You can't fool the American people - politician trying to fool the American people.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
Politician
Fool
American
Trying
People

More quotes by Dov Davidoff

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Mirrors at the gym only serve to remind me that I'm less of a man than I'd like to be.
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Just saw a woman with a t-shirt that said southern and sassy, it's all good. Well madame, I beg to differ, it is in fact, not 'all good'.
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Is it a bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend makes you say things like, Satan is a myth... I guess.
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We should create a holiday that celebrates money for what it is, essentially worthless paper, upon which we agree to pretend it has value.
Dov Davidoff
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Living by the beach means feeling guilty about never going to the beach.
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People would be so much more interesting if they'd behave like who they are, and not like what they think others expect them to be.
Dov Davidoff
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If I ever move in with a woman, she'll have to be really comfortable with unhappiness.
Dov Davidoff
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Nike store won't accept my Starbucks card as payment. Come on guys, just do it.
Dov Davidoff
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Is it a bad sign when someone asks you about the person your dating and a tear falls from your eye as you leap into oncoming traffic?
Dov Davidoff
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I like shitty strip clubs. They look like what they are. I know what to expect. Unlike Congress, at least we know everybody is for sale.
Dov Davidoff
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Gotta get rid of these free radicals, but first I need to figure out what they are.
Dov Davidoff
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If you got it, flaunt it may be decent advice for prostitutes, but no one else.
Dov Davidoff
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America's objective in the Middle East is to create democracy in the same way that my goal on a first date to feed women.
Dov Davidoff
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People increase their use of the term 'sir' when their angry. Little do they know, it only causes me to feel more like I'm wearing a top hat.
Dov Davidoff
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Flying first class means sitting next to a better class of person I don't want to talk to.
Dov Davidoff
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Anticipation almost always exceeds the reality of that which we anticipated.
Dov Davidoff
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If only St. Valentine was around to see his memory celebrated through the mindless marketing of whipping cream and lingerie.
Dov Davidoff
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Looking into blood doping. I think it will allow me to write jokes with greater intensity, and for a longer period of time.
Dov Davidoff
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Being homeless is awful, but if you've ever tried to wrestle a duvet cover back onto a comforter you realise it's not without it's benefits.
Dov Davidoff
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Facebook is great for getting upset about things people say even though you haven't seen them in 12 years.
Dov Davidoff