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You can't fool the American people - politician trying to fool the American people.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
Politician
Fool
American
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff
Mirrors at the gym only serve to remind me that I'm less of a man than I'd like to be.
Dov Davidoff
Just saw a woman with a t-shirt that said southern and sassy, it's all good. Well madame, I beg to differ, it is in fact, not 'all good'.
Dov Davidoff
Is it a bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend makes you say things like, Satan is a myth... I guess.
Dov Davidoff
We should create a holiday that celebrates money for what it is, essentially worthless paper, upon which we agree to pretend it has value.
Dov Davidoff
Living by the beach means feeling guilty about never going to the beach.
Dov Davidoff
People would be so much more interesting if they'd behave like who they are, and not like what they think others expect them to be.
Dov Davidoff
If I ever move in with a woman, she'll have to be really comfortable with unhappiness.
Dov Davidoff
Nike store won't accept my Starbucks card as payment. Come on guys, just do it.
Dov Davidoff
Is it a bad sign when someone asks you about the person your dating and a tear falls from your eye as you leap into oncoming traffic?
Dov Davidoff
I like shitty strip clubs. They look like what they are. I know what to expect. Unlike Congress, at least we know everybody is for sale.
Dov Davidoff
Gotta get rid of these free radicals, but first I need to figure out what they are.
Dov Davidoff
If you got it, flaunt it may be decent advice for prostitutes, but no one else.
Dov Davidoff
America's objective in the Middle East is to create democracy in the same way that my goal on a first date to feed women.
Dov Davidoff
People increase their use of the term 'sir' when their angry. Little do they know, it only causes me to feel more like I'm wearing a top hat.
Dov Davidoff
Flying first class means sitting next to a better class of person I don't want to talk to.
Dov Davidoff
Anticipation almost always exceeds the reality of that which we anticipated.
Dov Davidoff
If only St. Valentine was around to see his memory celebrated through the mindless marketing of whipping cream and lingerie.
Dov Davidoff
Looking into blood doping. I think it will allow me to write jokes with greater intensity, and for a longer period of time.
Dov Davidoff
Being homeless is awful, but if you've ever tried to wrestle a duvet cover back onto a comforter you realise it's not without it's benefits.
Dov Davidoff
Facebook is great for getting upset about things people say even though you haven't seen them in 12 years.
Dov Davidoff