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It's difficult to feel silly and depressed at the same time, but I manage.
Dov Davidoff
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Dov Davidoff
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff
The quality of a restaurant's food is inversely proportioned to the amount of fun its staff seems to be having.
Dov Davidoff
Stop thanking god for your parking spot. He had nothing to do with it, and if he did, I want nothing to do with him.
Dov Davidoff
We're in this together usually means I'm here for you, unless it requires me getting into my car anywhere near rush hour.
Dov Davidoff
Brain damage and stupidity are very different things, but can have similar effects on the wearer.
Dov Davidoff
Not sure how I feel about reality. I'm going to begin purchasing stuffed animals and endowing them with the qualities people in my life lack.
Dov Davidoff
Statistically speaking, when a woman says I'm not going to have sex with you, she'll often have sex with you.
Dov Davidoff
Cheerleaders are simultaneously everything that is right and wrong with the world.
Dov Davidoff
Every time I see someone taking care of a baby, I think why in the world would anyone willingly saddle themselves with that responsibility?
Dov Davidoff
People who say life is precious don't spend much time on line at the airport.
Dov Davidoff
I wish I could be attracted to unattractive women. They're just more interesting.
Dov Davidoff
I'm no quitter, unless it comes to human relationships or math and science.
Dov Davidoff
You know you've lived in LA to long when what you fear most about prison is a lack of organic produce.
Dov Davidoff
People shouldn't take my lack of interest in what they're saying personally. I don't really care about what I'm saying most of the time.
Dov Davidoff
When maintaining a relationship means diminishing your self, it's time to walk.
Dov Davidoff
Writing good jokes requires effort. Think I'll just start dressing funnier.
Dov Davidoff
Horoscopes, like bad sitcoms, are created for people that I don't relate to.
Dov Davidoff
Skin heads are doing an awful job of promoting racism. You guys need to loosen up, and for god's sake would it kill you to smile.
Dov Davidoff
Facebook is great for getting upset about things people say even though you haven't seen them in 12 years.
Dov Davidoff
Being anti-social can also mean that you're aware of how annoying it is to be social.
Dov Davidoff
TV can be an acronym for television or transvestite. I prefer using it to describe the the latter. The former is strange and undignified.
Dov Davidoff